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Atlanta School Board
The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over Ebonics, has decided to designate Southern slang, or Hickphonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi. Hire yew.
BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive to borrow.
Usage: My brother bard my pickup truck.
JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.
MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts.
IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See Arkansas native.
Usage: Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!
RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.
ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.
FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.
BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to
work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!
TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck.
TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.
RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: My grampaw retard at age 65.
TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.
FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or
combat.
ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats.
FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn
country.
DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: He's did, Jim.
EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!
BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.
JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: Is Bubba smart? Nah... haze ignert.
SEED -- verb, past tense.
VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: I ain't never seed New York City... view? |
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